I'm An American!

Cinque Terra, roughly translated, must mean the Five Terrors. Despite having an incredibly good time it seemed that I was dodging death at every corner. Cliff diving, sunburn, dehydration, Italian men, and finally......sea kayaking. The morning after I was the "cock in the poultry", two of the ladies (the Aussie Nicole and Coloradan Jesse) decided to do join me for some sea kayaking. We paddled along the shore away from the towns. Filthy with the detritus of countless motor boats the water cleared as we got farther from the port. Though I had heard there were beaches in the direction we were heading none were to be seen. The shore was a jumble of sharp, jutting rock and towering stone walls that rose straight up from the sea. It was quite beautiful. About twenty minutes out Nicole spotted what appeared to be a large cave, so we both paddled over for a closer look. Jesse kept her distance. It wasn't a cave at all, but merely a concave recession in the rock that had fallen into shadow, a small grotto. I paddled closer still. That was when I noticed a cut in the rock, a narrow passageway that at first looked like a dead-end. As I angled closer I caught a glimmer of light on the far side and got excited. I had spied a tunnel, approximately forty feet long and ten feet wide, that slowly narrowed to about three feet across before expanding back out to its full width and the sea beyond. Exuberant about my discovery I encouraged Nicole to follow me through. I paddled in as the rock walls narrowed around me. When I got to the choke point I could no longer use my paddle, needing to turn it parallel to the boat so I could squeeze through. The boat barely fit, so I was using my hands to work myself through the tightest spot, careful not to cut myself on the sharp rocks or barnacles. Dead-center of the choke, I paused, a big smile on my face, to turn back and see how Nicole was doing. She was close behind me... That was when the wave came rolling in. A large boat must have passed by outside, its wake pulsing silently across the surface towards us. Water, when forced through a narrow gap, generates a large amount of force. I braced myself against the wall, trying to keep my balance as the churning water rose furiously around us. Nicole, unable to hold on, dumped out of her boat into the swirling sea. I immediately realized the danger we were in. Though I can't remember my exact words, things being as they were, a chivalric grace apparently took hold, and, in my "strong U.S. accent" proclaimed: "Are you okay?!? Don't worry, I'm an AMERICAN, I'll get you out of here!!!!" God apparently appreciates poetic justice, for that was when the second wave hit. Much bigger than the first, the wall of water rushed into the passageway, a bubbling cauldron of froth and foam. My fear rose in tandem with the water level. I thought for certain I would either be dashed against the rocks or drowned as the water reached towards the ceiling. Losing my balance, I too fell from my boat. I could feel the raw power around me as I was bent to the water's will. As the wave receded I knew we needed to get out as quick as we could. I instructed Nicole to head out the way we came in and I continued through the passageway to the far side so we wouldn't get tangled up. Both the boats were swamped and dragging them was like trying to pull an elephant through a tar pit. Shaken, but not stirred, we both escaped rather unharmed. After an extremely tiring paddle to a pile of large rocks near the shore we slowly dumped the water out of the boats and managed to get back in. In adventure was over.