Duomo Erigato, Mr. Gelato

From Cinque Terra, it was off to Fierenze. Florence is a bit like a girl I used to date; classicly beautiful, well-built, but absolutely fucking filthy. Not the type of city you would want to take home to Mom. Dominated by a massive duomo in the center of town, Florence houses an impressive array of museums, sculptures, and cathedrals, most of which I skipped in lieu of the multitude of gelaterias which line every street corner. I'm not exactly sure how many gelatos a day it takes to kill a man but I think I might find out, as my blood is slowly being replaced by a thick, creamy, delicious, pistacio cream. I managed to take in a few sights between cups and cones. Florence is the home of Michelangelo's David, which was definitely worth the price of admission. At 17 feet tall, with a giant stone penis, David makes even the most well-endowed of men feel woefully inadequate. The skill of the carving is evident even to a layman such as myself. A plaque at the base, which I will paraphrase, reads: "once you have seen the statue of David, the absolute mastery involved in its creation, all other sculpture immediately become irrelevant". I have decided to take this literally, henceforth I will ignore all sculptures which cross my path. This shouldn't be much of a problem since the vast majority of sculptures tend to be helplessly immobile stone. I made Florence my home base for a few days while I explored the surround regions of Tuscany and Umbria. I visited the small hill towns of Cortona, Orvieto, Bagnoregio, and Civita. This was the real Italy; lonely cobblestone streets, amazing views of the countryside, blissful silence save the wind in the trees, and, without fail, gelato.

Civita was the highlight. Perched alone on a small spire of rock, much of the village has fallen into the deep canyon which completely surrounds it. Apparently the village architect and the village idiot were one and the same. Essentially an island in the sky, Civita is literally tethered to the mainland by a long, steep bridge. This umbilical cord sustains the dying town with a steady (but small) diet of tourists. Though the town can be thoroughly explored in about an hour, its Etruscan structures are mostly intact. A true gem of a city. Cortona was also a highlight. I had lunch with this real cool cat that I met there. I mean that literally, I had lunch with a cat. Alone, eating at a small outdoor restuarant that overlooked the town square, this stray comes ambling out of an alleyway. He spends most of my meal tempting fate by putting his paws up on the tablecloth looking for a bite to eat. I swat him away time and again but he remains at my side. Other patrons start to notice, some take pictures and laugh. My meal is finished and the table is cleared. I'm writing in my journal when he finally gains the tabletop. To the victor goes the spoils, so I gently pet him as he settles in. We sat there for another two hours or so, me writing in my journal, the cat possibly dreaming about candied mice or world domination. Maybe he just needed some company. Maybe I needed some too. Two lost souls were we.