North By West South

Mentally preparing for a trip into the untamed regions of Africa is quite exhausting. There is much to think about: disease, civil war, banditry, wild animals, endless expanses of desert and mosquito plagued jungles. How does one take it all in? My preferred method is to take a deep breath, slowly count to ten, clear my mind of complexity, then try to refocus my attention on whatever is playing on the Game Show Network. It usually works; those cartoon Whammies on Press Your Luck are endlessly entertaining. Still, as soon as a dozen or so episodes fly by, my mind invariably drifts back to the difficult path that lies ahead. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me catch you up to speed on a few things.


Still unsettled after my jaunt around Europe I decided to keep on the move for a while. Having allowed my lease to lapse, I packed up my apartment and divested myself of some of my most valued possessions, including my collection of mint condition Steven Segal Hard to Kill action figures and my Don King Chia Pet. It was a sad and liberating experience. I'm lucky enough to have some of the best friends in all of explored space, so I moved what little remained into one friend's apartment, dumped my death-trap of a car on another friend, and left my heart in San Francisco.
I had been thinking of travelling again for a while now and several ideas floated around my head like dead bugs on the surface of a stagnant pool. Conversations passed between me and my buddy Xander, an old friend and experienced world traveller who was ready for another adventure himself. We tooled around with the idea of South East Asia but alarmist concerns about sneezing chickens and phlegm hocking roosters gave us pause. With avian flu hysterics at a fever pitch - I believe a Canadian goose was found passing out toys at a children's hospital without wearing a mask - it seemed prudent to redirect ourselves on a safer trajectory. So we finally kinda-sorta settled on a trek across North and West Africa.
Now came the tough part - procrastinating. Though always somewhat of an art form our procrastination became downright avant garde. A few weeks ticked by with nothing more than some vagaries about airline tickets and some crude jokes about camel humps. Finally, in the waning moments, a flurry of activity: tickets bought, apartments vacated, jobs discard...oh wait, we didn't have jobs. All of a sudden the trip seemed very complicated. Africa is no walk in the park, it requires visas, immunizations, med kits, mosquito nets, antibiotics, insurance, currency strategies and more. Yikes. I made an appointment at a travel clinic and found myself staring down the needle of a syringe. I was inoculated against typhoid, yellow fever, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, diphtheria, measles, small pox, large pox, tetanus, and the ill effects of watching too much political news. I also paid hundreds of dollars for the latest malaria medication, a combo drug that not only destroys your liver but leaves your breath feeling minty fresh.

Visas seemed to pose an entirely different problem. At first it seemed we wouldn?t be able to get them in time, but we soon found that if we follow a certain path we could get visas along the way for every country we wanted to visit. To do this we needed to amass an asinine amount of photos, lots of copies of our passports, and - if we could get it - what's known as a "letter of introduction" from an American embassy. Presumably, this reads as follows: "Dear Senegal, Xander and The Wandering Jew are two intrepid, though perhaps foolhardy, travelers. My understanding is that their parents love them. Please see that they are not arrested, kidnapped, gang-raped, or shot. Sincerely, John Smith, American Ambassador to Africa"
Indeed the excitement generated by the thought of this exhilarating journey was growing with each passing day. Things happened rather quickly after that. Gear was hastily bought and haphazardly stuffed into borrowed bags, debts were settled (or a return address was surreptitiously changed), good-byes were said, and before we knew it we were on our way. So I'm sitting here in an internet cafe in London, typing away, letting you all back in to my world. Tomorrow we fly to the south of Spain. In a few days we make our way to the coast and a ferry will shuttle us across the Straight of Gibraltar, where the real adventure beings. Our bags are packed, our flight is booked, and we are ready. Are you?