Knights of the Old Republic

Just because Serbia's first democratically elected Prime Minister was assassinated doesn't necessarily make it a bad place to visit. There are at least a dozen other reasons. For instance, you might be discouraged from visiting when you hear that the doors on the overnight train from Romania are chained shut from the inside to prevent thieves, rapists, murderers, and proselytizing missionaries from breaking in during stops. You might be further discouraged when you hear that the doors between individual cars are not only chained but also barred. This discouragement might even turn into a palpable fear when you don't hear of this until you are already traveling inside the steel belly of this Locomotive of Doom. Such was the case when I personally noticed these safeguards while getting up to use the restroom on my night train to Belgrade. Luckily, having evacuated my bowels moments earlier, it made it a lot harder to literally shit my pants. Kristen and I shared a few jittery laughs before settling in for some restless sleep. Fortunately, I woke up in the morning with the vast majority of my organs where I left them. Who needs two kidneys anyways? As we slowly rolled into the city the first thing I noticed was Belgrade's impressively elaborate recycling program. With little fanfare, residents carefully separate their plastic, paper, and organic refuse before depositing it directly into a nearby river, where it is immediately recycled into the drinking water. Fascinating, really. The city didn't really improve much from there. Ugly buildings and tacky neon signs dominated the main thoroughfares. The main attraction was the massive Kalemegdan Citadel, a fortification that had been attacked a whopping 115 times since it was erected, despite the fact that the view from the top isn't very impressive. Interestingly, the Military Museum inside the citadel proudly displays bits of a downed American stealth bomber from the latest war. It seemed like a cue to leave if ever there was one. Another night train deposited us on the Montenegrin coast. After a few short but painful bus rides we arrived out our destination. Ringing the edge of a shimmering fjord and lorded over by striking granite mountains, the small town of Kotor was a gem. Dwelling high above this settlement is a magnificent fortification whose steep stone steps and imposing walls snake their way a few hundred yards up the mountainside before ending in a fortress with a spectacular view down the length of the fjord. Though incredibly impressive, your can't help but wonder why in the hell anyone would want to get up there in the first place. Nevertheless, it was still my favorite set of ruins on the trip and a nice escape from Belgrade.